Not-So-Happy Valentine’s Day

It’s 11:37 PM on Valentine’s Day 2013.  I sit at the the side of my brother’s death bed, listening to Ray Lamontagne’s Pandora station while my mother speaks over the music, reading today’s daily passage from Jesus Calling – her and my brother have been taking turns doing so for the past three months since a friend had so kindly given it to my brother for inspiration to fight Cancer.  

I don’t know what to think about all of this.  Only three weeks prior were the doctors and nurses  confident my brother could become cancer-free.  Now here we are.  

Family and friends have flown in from all over the world to be here for my brother’s final days.  I am overwhelmed by the anticipation that the end is near.  The world will not end, time will continue to pass but our lives will never be the same.

I love you Johnathan.  You’re my trusted confidante, protector, best friend, and most importantly, my big brother.